A Holiday Surrender to Change

December can be an exciting time of preparation, decoration, and parties in anticipation of the holiday just weeks ahead. But for many, shattered relationships, trauma, illness, or a lost loved one can generate a bah humbug within us, opening emotional wounds that challenge the desire to participate in what should normally be a season of celebration. Instead, the reality of that pain consumes energies, halting intentions toward healing as we swirl memories with emotions of what was lost and how it has left us.

Eighteen years later, I still revisit those feelings of the first Christmas without my husband, vividly recalling total defeat to my emotional pain as our finalized divorce paralleled an accident which left me on crutches. As I nursed a broken foot, I could no more decorate a Christmas tree than make my bed each morning. Despite long workdays in retail on crutches, I returned home unencumbered by pain desperate to create a beautiful setting and new traditions for our children who had also lost their father. But I couldn’t. At one of my life’s lowest moments, I could help no one, including myself, as feelings of defeat, emptiness, and sadness conquered my soul and brought me to an emotional darkness where healing seemed utterly unfathomable.

Change is ambiguous, threatening our judgment as we paddle in a pool of anxiety, overwhelm, fear, anger, or depression. We become emotionally crippled by confusion and sadness, disabling our initiative to put one step forward, instead idle and trapped in our personal quicksand. As I involuntarily revisit those emotions of yesteryear each December, I have learned that it is not until we personally surrender to change and invite God to unveil transformation and opportunity that He enables us to combat those feelings with a slow but steady progression. The choice is the fundamental variable that embarks the journey.

I’ve left defeat and regret in the rear view mirror several times since that dark past, and no longer perceive my losses and obstacles as personal weaknesses or shame. Life is a journey of unpredictable peaks and valleys yielding positive and negative outcomes, but not withholding valuable lessons. I chose to redefine a future of opportunity apart from my past. With conviction to thrive through adversities, God sustains and molds us into resilient people of strength. He purposefully plants His strength within each of us and as it grows, He calls on us to develop faith in ourselves as a resource of His strength’s power while inspiring us to share compassion and hope through the wisdom of our experience.

Through the years, I have developed drivers of personal growth by coupling a positive mindset of God’s promises with faith that He walks with me as He molds me closer to the person He created me to become through my adversities. These drivers have enabled me to gain momentum in my ability to confront my sadness, and through my surrender to change, I courageously chose to hold steadfast to His vision for my future. This holiday season, I invite you to believe and grow His seeds of new opportunities as you surrender to change and transform into the woman of strength he created you to become.

.

Verse of Reflection

2 Corinthians 12:9-11 – My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in weakness. For when I am weak, then I am strong.